


Death by Embarrassment

by Thedreamison



Category: One Piece
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Short One Shot, Strawhats being Strawhats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 18:37:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19090792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thedreamison/pseuds/Thedreamison
Summary: The Straw Hats decide to sneak a peek at Sanji's activities in the galley to confirm some suspicions they have. (Except for Luffy, who of course, assumes they are there for the food.)





	Death by Embarrassment

"You guys are the best! Keep that kiss going!" cries Nami gleefully, a broad smile on her face as she enters the galley, followed by the rest of the crew. The smile stays intact although her voice turns business-like as she continues, "Usopp, Franky, Brook. You have till tonight to pay me."

"Women and their intuition! Why do I bother betting?" moans Usopp and proceeds to rummage in his pockets for money.

"Neuken in de keuken! Uhaha, Cook-bro, you can't call me a pervert ever again! I suppose it's time to build another room on our ship! I'll make it super soundproof!" Franky booms, striking his trademark pose.

"Ah, to be young!" Brook exclaims. "I want to say I'm surprised you're together but I'm sure I always knew it in my bones! Yohoho!"

"Nami! You said we were in for a treat but I don't see any food! And Sanji, why is Zoro lying on top of you?" Luffy yells, his expression a mix of disappointment and confusion.

Robin, who appears to be the only one who has heard of privacy, begins to explain the concept to the rest of the company as she ushers them out of the room. "Don't worry Sanji-kun, you haven't been outed, we've always known," she says with a sanguine expression as she turns to leave the room but her eyes betray the amusement she's trying to hold in.

The crew has almost dispersed when Chopper seems to decide to drive the final nail in the coffin, as he peeks through Robin's fingers to whisper with curiosity, "Is this what human mating is? I've never seen it before."

* * *

Words seem to have abandoned Sanji as he lies on the sofa, feeling thoroughly scandalized as his brain oscillates between _The fuck happened?_ and _I'm totally fucked_. Zoro is still on top of him, looking equally stunned. He's grateful to note that they're both wearing pants. A small miracle. He shudders to think of what would have happened if his nakama had decided to enter the galley a little later.

The room is silent now, as if minutes before, the entire Straw Hat crew hadn't come pouring in with the agenda of causing Sanji's death by embarassment. _The entire fucking crew, omigod, how on earth is he going to survive this?_

As if on cue, he hears a throat clear.

_Fine, the entire fucking crew minus Zoro, but they both are on the same side here so why is the stupid marimo looking at him like he needs to add his bit to aid in Sanji's death?_

"Told you they wouldn't mind us fucking, Cook. I didn't think it would come true literally though. I had meant it in a different way, you know, in a, uh, us being a thing sort of way, I mean-" The swordsman stutters as his cheeks turn a shade darker. Sanji might have found it endearing in a different context but all he wants to do right now is kick the living daylights out of the moss ball. And that's exactly what he does.

"You said you'd locked the door, stupid marimo!! See if I let you come near me ever again!" Sanji shouts as the swordsman goes flying out of the galley, landing with a crash on the deck.

* * *

He does allow the swordsman near him again, after he's made him lock doors enough times that the poor man has started to invoke Santoryu every time he hears someone mention the word 'door'.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a story where each Straw Hat has exactly one string of sentences. I had fun coming up with lines for each of them, praying that they didn't turn out too OOC!
> 
> ****
> 
> ****
> 
> 'Neuken in de keuken' is apparently Dutch for kitchen sex. I just had to add that phrase to the story.


End file.
